I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
FUCK WHALES
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
