Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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