We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
