i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
