it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize