Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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