I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
