I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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