More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
