He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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