You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
