Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
