Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
