I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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