WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
3pm strippers are depressing
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize