Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize