I can tuck mytits in my pants
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
