I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
