Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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