dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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