I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
