So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm at about main and main street
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
