I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
