The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
