Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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