I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Your cock deserves a montage
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
