chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
