He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
