You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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