Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.