Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  What a good friend

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  (301): There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out. (240): What a good friend http://tfl.nu/qs4m
  Replies (6) Good night (1284) Bad night (408)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.

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  (405): I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day. http://tfl.nu/3skj
  Replies (7) Good night (793) Bad night (1346) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.

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  (313): I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan. http://tfl.nu/kp2g
  Replies (31) Good night (697) Bad night (2555) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am in shape. i keep telling you that.

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."

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  (313): I am in shape. i keep telling you that. (1-313): Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape." http://tfl.nu/2t6h
  Replies (28) Good night (809) Bad night (3451) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.

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  (717):Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine. (1-717):That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with. http://tfl.nu/pv3h
  Replies (16) Good night (3908) Bad night (492)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love

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  (609): He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love http://tfl.nu/lok4
  Replies (47) Good night (3293) Bad night (7368) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.

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  (410): There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you. http://tfl.nu/a558
  Replies (9) Good night (4846) Bad night (1169) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.

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  (954): We're sending your burrito through the mail slot. http://tfl.nu/pddr
  Replies (4) Good night (3728) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth

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  (804): you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth http://tfl.nu/ftsz
  Replies (7) Good night (962) Bad night (3693) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.

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  (252): It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there. http://tfl.nu/94gv
  Replies (17) Good night (995) Bad night (3235) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  I regret nothing

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  (702): Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal. (1-702): I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/jdko
  Replies (12) Good night (2367) Bad night (436)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?

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  (908): Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka? http://tfl.nu/zznq
  Replies (2) Good night (991) Bad night (293) Order T-Shirt
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  (555): View more from

  Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone

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  (555): Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone http://tfl.nu/9aqw
  Replies (5) Good night (729) Bad night (278) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.

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  (307): You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home. http://tfl.nu/j8m0
  Replies (9) Good night (327) Bad night (1639) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.

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  (314): How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death. http://tfl.nu/x5xg
  Replies (4) Good night (898) Bad night (217) Order T-Shirt

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