i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
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My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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