I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Say something about gay babies.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.