I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.