i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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