you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There r osticjed everywhere
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
