What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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