You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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