I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
