it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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