im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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