i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
