The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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