turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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