Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
