I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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