I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
