I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
