If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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