Taylor Swift is so right about you.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
