come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
