Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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