I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
