This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
