I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
