Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize