Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
