she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
What a dumb baby whore.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think my moral compass just broke
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
