Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
