and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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