last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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