I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
