Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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