its not stalking. its research.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize
