its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
