in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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