end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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