Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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